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At Primitiv Group, we’re always looking for the next breakthrough in cannabis wellness and lifestyle products. Today, we’re proud to announce four revolutionary additions to our lineup, designed to push the boundaries of taste, recovery, and relaxation. From the gridiron to the grind, we’ve got you covered – coming this spring to a retail location near you!
Rise and grind? More like rise and unwind! Meet Java Joints, the ultimate fusion of caffeine and cannabis for a truly elevated morning experience. Each sip delivers a bold, rich coffee flavor with a precisely dosed infusion of our premium cannabis extract. Perfect for those who want to stay focused, creative, and blissfully balanced throughout the day. Because sometimes, your morning cup needs a little
more… lift.
Detroit-style pizza meets cannabis innovation with TURF Detroit-Style Pizza Gummies! These THC-infused gummies capture the iconic cheesy, saucy, crispy flavors of the Motor City’s favorite deep-dish delight. Whether you’re craving a post-workout snack or just want to vibe with the flavors of home, TURF Gummies bring a whole new meaning to ‘edibles.’ One bite, and everybody knows the rules.
Inspired by the relentless drive of Calvin “Megatron” Johnson, we’ve developed the Megatron Maple Syrup Recovery Cream—a next-level topical packed with CBD, designed to soothe sore muscles and joints. But here’s the kicker—it smells just like fresh, golden maple syrup. Whether you’re hitting the gym, the field, or the breakfast table, this formula is as smooth as syrup and as strong as the legend himself. Would you pour this on or rub it in?
Chowdah Chews—the world’s first clam chowder-infused CBD gummies. Packed with rich, creamy, and savory flavors, these unique edibles capture the essence of a warm bowl of New England’s finest. Whether you’re craving comfort or just want to try something truly wicked innovative, Chowdah Chews will have you feeling relaxed faster than you can say“pahk the cah.”
With these latest innovations, Primitiv Group continues to redefine the cannabis experience with bold flavors and game-changing wellness solutions, that please the body, mind, and palate.
…And if you made it this far, we hope you enjoyed our April Fool’s post! While Java Joints, Pizza Gummies, Maple Syrup Recovery Cream, and Chowdah Chews aren’t real (yet), our commitment to premium cannabis and wellness is.
Follow @primitiv_group, @primitivgroup_niles, @primitivgroup_boston, and @primitivperformance for what we’re cooking up next!
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Primitiv Group is a joint venture from the founders of Locker Room Consulting.
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